A CMDB is like a Swiss bank account

I have an analogy for CMDB - it is like a Swiss bank account. Allow me to paraphrase some of the conversations I've had around CMDB:

Him (it's always a "him"): Everybody needs a Swiss bank account.

Me: No they don't.

Him: Of course they do. It is the only sensible effective place to keep your spare liquid cash.

Me: Since 2009 I don't have any spare cash.

Him: it doesn't need to be large amounts. Anything over a million should be put offshore.

Me: I've never had a million. Right now I don't even have a thousand dollars spare.

Him: You don't? how dreadful for you. But that doesn't affect my point.

Me: Most people don't have a spare million lying around

Him: Sure they do. Everyone I talk to does. And I consult widely.

Me: Perhaps everyone who can afford you does. But trust me, most of the human race doesn't.

Him: How extraordinary. Well certainly everyone who matters does. Everyone who cares about Swiss bank accounts, for example.

[At the Pink 2010 conference, in a CMDB panel discussion, someone mentioned 700 IT staff, so Chris Dancy asked how many of those in the crowded room worked for a company with more than 700 IT staff. Just about every hand in the room went up.]

Me: Sure. Fine. But can you please stop saying "everybody needs a Swiss bank account" because that's simply not true for most of us.

Him: It's much simpler if I just ignore all the unimportant people and keep saying "everyone". Otherwise those who matter might start to doubt.


It was "him"...

LOL. I'm surprised you got Scott Adams to let you talk to Dogbert...

Having the analogy of

Having the analogy of viewing the CMDB as a Swiss bank account, how could we see the CMS or even the broader SKMS ? Maybe like a galactic bank account ? Utopia for most of IT Service Providers around the world.

Vegas has always been about excess though.

Like a swiss bank account, discussed frequently in the media (or movies), but most 'ordinary' people don't have a clue what they actually are.


I have an Elbonian bank account. The currency is elbows. I keep all my elbows in that account. And I only have two.
Maybe everyone doesn't need a fancy Swiss bank account, but most everyone needs a Bank account. The Swiss part I think was added as a pinata. Change the conversation to exclude "Swiss" and watch what happens. It kinda sounds like a crank phone call. We all have those bearish cranks who love tormeting the true believers. What, you don't believe in BANKS? (With the word "BANKS" used as an expletive.) Yeah the bank screwed me in 1982 because I didn't have any money, so I've been opposed to all banks since then. I've got a friend or two like this, many of you probably do too.

The CMDB analogy is not a regular bank to a Swiss one, it's a shoebox for receipts, paying cash for everything, and having a coffee can for your spare change, to opening a checking account. Most people start with the shoebox and can. Most people get a bank account. The CMDB is the checking account, not a Fancy Swiss account.

A good spicy try but I'm not buying this one. I'd like something a little more outlandish. Something with more bite.

Not buying

I'd buy your analogy to simple bank accounts if CMDB could be implemented in ten minutes over the counter with no monthly fees, and my data was government guaranteed.

But it seems every CMDB implementation runs to seven figures, takes longer than building a new ocean liner, and the only thing it delivers is the hope that people who ought to be more careful won't cock up so often.

Technology. Does. Not. Fix. Process.

Or. Culture.

But process has human element to it!

I would like to make a point here that I have see in your other discussions also.

You are a strong advocate of process and have said earlier also that what one can achieve with CMDB [may be read as HUGE COST by some] can be achieved with process improvement.

But, A process is only as strong as the people following the process. Its the technology that will keep all people on track. Other problem that I see here is change in people, or overriding of process eventually.

So to have a robust process that woks one needs technology.

Hope you agree or correct me !!!


Best laugh I've had all day. Please, keep it coming.

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